The following example of the value of "Say What's Wrong and Make It Right" was relayed to me by an elementary school principal.

While on yard duty, a kndergarten girl complained, to the principal, "Tommy is chasing me."

Mrs. Brown, the principal responded, "Let's go talk to him."

Tommy's immediate response was: "I didn't chase her."

Mrs. Brown: "I didn't say you did.  You're not in trouble.  You just need to listen to Lisa."

Mrs. Brown guided them through the Five-Step Process with Lisa looking in Tommy's eyes and stating: "I don't like it when you chase me.  I want you to stop.  It makes me mad."

At this point, Tommy surprisingly offered: "I'm sad."

Mrs. Brown to Tommy: "What are you sad about?"

Tommy to Lisa: "That I chased you. I'm sorry."

Mrs. Brown: "How are you both feeling now?"

Lisa and Tommy in unison and smiling: "Fine!"

Throughout the whole process there was no blaming or guilt.  Lisa simply made an observation of her view of the situation.  Because of that Tommy was able to take responsibility, make amends, and solve the problem quickly.  So many lessons were introduced in a short amount of time:

• Saying what one is upset about, identifying feelings, using eye contact, and listening to each other leads to win-win solutions.
• Conflict can be solved without anyone getting in trouble or being punished.
• Children are capable of solving problems when given tools.