Say What's Wrong and Make It Right

Proven system that develops children's independence in conflict resolution and communication

Q: How much time will it take implement?

Say What's Wrong and Make It Right was designed to be easy to implement. Children are great imitators. The more you model the Five-Step Process the sooner they will pick it up. Even modeling "I messages" is a great first step.

It can be taught incidentally. The first day of kindergarten, I would lie in wait for a tattle. With every tattle my response was, "Have you told the other person what you're upset about?"

Usually the child would say, "No." but the look seemed to say, "Huh? Why would I do that? That's your job." 

And I would respond with, "Go tell the other person. If they won't listen, I will help you." I would follow the individual to make certain everyone was safe. Most often the situation evolved into an opportunity to teach the Five-Step Process incidentally.

Finally, the "Formal Lesson Plan" in the book, Say What's Wrong and Make It Right teaches the basic concepts involved through active student participation including role working. Once the lesson has been taught, the adult's incidental modeling of the Five-Step Process reinforces the lesson. You will be pleasantly surprised how soon the children start using it on their own.

After checking out my website, a friend facetiously asked,

Q: "So are you gonna design one for us messed up adults?"

Actually this process works for us "messed up" and not so messed up adults. After watching and videoing my presentations, my husband, Charlie came to me one day in late August and said, "I need to Say What's Wrong and Make It Right." I was spending an abundance of time at school preparing materials and my classroom for the beginning of the year. I wasn't doing my share of our household responsibilities.

Knowing what was coming I jokingly responded, "I'm not teaching you that program anymore." However, I listened and we did come to a satisfactory agreement for both of us about how I would be more helpful at home. I had always felt that we had good communication, but that was a definite improvement.

After that, he hung a framed version of the Five-Step Process poster in our kitchen, which remains there to this day. It is a great reminder, especially when I forget to practice what I teach.